Sadly, it seems Crosby has become the new Manning when it comes to last names. People see the name Manning and have spasticated fits in some sort of retarded effort to be associated with it; fantasy football players invest virtual trillions just to get Eli Manning to disappoint and underperform for their time while Philip Rivers is left out in the rain until someone throws him the equivalent of a pity fuck at which point Philly Cheese Steak takes over and ROCKS YOUR WORLD. And the Mannings are all hicks. I heard today that Cooper Manning - a.k.a. the Stephen Baldwin of football - sells insurance, and while I know America loves Southern accents, I would not buy insurance (or anything) from someone who I cannot understand. Aside from Peyton, the entire Manning family are one big cockholster, this is an undeniable fact, and until Eli wins a Super Bowl ring he will be the biggest of them all. Furthermore, Meg Manning has nothing to do with the Mannings but has to do with Veronica Mars, and she is the rule that proves the rule because she is the very archetype of the snooty bitch you always wanted to give a good solid punt right in the cooter to. Season 2 Meg, at least, season 1 Meg was a sweetheart. And I just used sweetheart, goddamn that's gay.
But anyway. Mason Crosby just won the Green Bay Packers' kicker job despite only being a rookie and it has therefore provoked a veritable mental hospital of retards tripping over their own shit to dump their thousand-point-scoring players just so they can have a Crosby on their roster. I know he's of no relation to Sidney Crosby, who I have at least a grudging respect for - he may be a whining pussy and he may play in Pittsburgh, but that mo'fucka (as they say on da streetz) got game. Or got skillz, whichever works better. Also, he can never be the ugliest Penguin as long as Evgeni Malkin plays for them. Mason, on the other hand, has a stupid first name and the world's gayest nickname - "THE CLEATED CRUSHER".
THE. CLEATED. CRUSHER.
Forget that cleats is just a stupid word for boots for a second and marvel at the absolute faggotry on display here. That is not a nickname, that is pure, distilled moron. You could tap that and brew Moron Juice and sell it to other morons. And people are picking him up. One guy dropped David Akers for him, an act that probably did make the AK-74 cry himself to sleep. I know Andrei Kirilinko stole the AK-47 nickname, but fuck him, the AK-74 is a better gun and AK-74 himself is a better player. So everybody leap on the Crosby bandwaggon and be swift about it because soon another name will come along and you'll be left behind
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