Being as how this is the NFL 2007/2008 season kickoff, I thought it appropriate to dedicate the first Gameday post to this game alone. It helps that I was able to watch it live, but in a couple of weeks that option will be taken away from me and the Gameday posts from there on out will be much more fantasy-oriented.
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01:39 - Joseph Addai is down. Joseph Addai is down. Oh God, please let this be minor.
01:45 - Bob Sanders does what he does best on the first New Orleans snap, crushing Deuce McAllister after only a three-yard gain on the ground. It's vintage Black Jesus, and it makes me wish he wasn't on the bench; Brian Dawkins had better perform otherwise I'm going to be kicking myself.
01:48 - Addai's not getting treatment, so apparently God just wants to test how strong my stomach lining is at the moment. Let me tell you, bud, it's about as good as a Vietnam vet's. But thanks for giving Reggie Bush a first down, it means the Inquisition is now officially leading 1-0, yes, that's one point to bupkis.
01:53 - Reggie gets smacked in the backfield, and it's now back to 0-0. And Olindo Mare shanks his kick to the left just to add to my annoyance.
01:55 - He's back! And there was much rejoicing! But Peyton gets a first down so now the SLSaints are down 1-0; truly an insurmountable deficit.
01:59 - 1-0 Inquisition! You go Joe! Work that drive straight up the middle! Do it again! Work that generic play! Run behind the trail of destruction Jeff Saturday causes in search of his fabled sandwich!
02:00 - Aw fuck. Manning to Harrison for Indy's first touchdown, 27 yards in all, even if Adam Vinateri does get the extra point it's still only one measly point. NOSaints 0 - 7 Colts, and I can't believe Marvin Harrison's 35. Aren't receivers supposed to in wheelchairs by then?
02:06 - Urgh. I didn't know Brees wore contact lenses, so cool for him, but damn I did not want to see him putting it in on the sidelines. Similarly, I do not want to see close-ups of needles going into eyes, thank you Dr. House.
02:07 - Well, not something you'll see every day; one of Drew Brees' passes is batted down right back into his hands. He makes a try of rushing for the first, but gets no love from the Indy defense and so the Colts' offense is back on. So far, I'm underwhelmed.
02:10 - The first quarter comes to an end, and it's NOSaints 0 - 7 Colts. I also didn't quite realise how annoying it was to go "NOSaints" and "SLSaints" and such and such.
02:13 - Indy's pounding the ball on the ground with Addai who follows Ryan Lilja for a first down, but it turns out Kenton Keith is now getting the occasional snap. This is most displeasing and not good in the slightest.
02:16 - Well fuck me. Jason David forces a fumble on Reggie Wayne - FUCK, by the way - and runs it all the way back to hit some paydirt. Tony Romo isn't a Saint so Mare gets to kick the extra point that makes it NOSaints 7 - 7 Colts, and really who saw that coming?
02:19 - Sky Sports, the only broadcaster who feels it necessary to insert ad breaks every five minutes, bastardy thing that it is. Better yet, it turns out Wayne lost points for fucking up and is now a healthy "-2" as he loses control of a medium pass. What the hell's wrong with you, man?
02:23 - Seriously, what's wrong with Indy? Poor Anthony Gonzalez gets a ball hurled a good few yards ahead of him because Will Smith almost got to Manning. From Tarik Glenn to Tony Ugoh, it's going to be an interesting process for the Colts, might even be the only way to beat them. Addai's also just passed the fifty-yard mark.
02:27 - Damn, Sanders gets so close to picking off a pass intended for Marques Colston. Why did I bench him again? Doesn't matter, Aaron Stecker comes in from nowhere on the next play and gets a first out of it.
02:29 - And Reggie gets himself a first as well. I've also just released Robert Meacham hasn't even been mentioned yet, and he's starting for the Christ Punchers. This ain't good.
02:30 - I don't even think he's on the field!
02:31 - Reggie takes his eye off the ball and misses a pass he really should have sucked in. Mare gives the NOSaints the lead though, so that's a tiny consolation. Right? NOSaints 10 - 7 Colts.
02:37 - Wayne finally gets some positive yardage, and I'm scared that there's only five minutes left in the second quarterbefore I got to say that.
02:40 - I really, really wish Shaun Gayle would stop saying "7-7 ballgame", "10-7 ballgame" and crap. Speaking of crap, that's the second false start penalty Ugoh's taken to make it third-and-thirteen and see Manning have no luck going long to Wayne. Again.
02:42 - Shitty death as New Orleans takes a false start themselves as Reggie looked like he was about to go on a good run; as it is, he gets taken down by Rob Morris for just three yards.
02:44 - Eric Johnson fumbles and I think Sanders was the one to ultimately force it, but somehow he keeps the ball, and just to cap things off on a pointless drive here, Bush loses yards on a screen play. It figures today is the day the Colts remember how to play defense.
02:46 - It's official, Addai has so far been a better receiver than Reggie Wayne. A full five yards better, to be exact.
02:48 - "IT'S A TEN-SEVEN BALLGAME". SHUT UP!
02:51 - Colts are in the red zone for the first time, two time-outs left and this is a damn fine time for Addai to score. Dallas Clark got a pair of receptions just before, but fuck him.
02:53 - Or you could overthrow Harrison and go to fourth down. I'm not picky. Adam Vinatieri kicks a field goal - apparently he's never missed in the RCA Dome - and ties it up. Saints 10 - 10 Colts, because typing "NOSaints" over and over is pointless and stupid.
02:59 - Brees almost gets sacked by Dwight Freeney, who just blasts through the Saints pass protection, and would have if the quarterback hadn't tossed the ball away - Jamar Nesbit touches it and so they get called for an illegal touching penalty. It's all a bit superfluousin the end, because Reggie gets a couple of yards on a rush and the half ends. It's Saints 10 - 10 Colts.
03:01 - I'm so fucking hungry.
03:07 - Let it be know I am a sandwich-making god of some kind. Not just in quality, but in speed as well; I left the keyboard at a minute past three and am now halfway through a big fucking polony sausage (I think that's the English equivalent of baloney or bologna, however it's spelt) French bread sandwich. It tastes so damn good, and I've only once cut myself while making it (even then, that was 2002).
03:09 - As it stands right now:
SLSaints 4 - 12 azbound
SI 8 - 0 Excalibur
SAS -2 - 0 Zoolanders (Yes. Minus two points, thank you Reggie Wayne)
CP 0 - 0 bonecrushaz
LK 0 - 4 Filthy Flojams
03:12 - TEN TEN BALLGAME. I'm going to start counting the times he says the word "ballgame", it's become my new crusade.
03:16 - Just curious here, but whatever happened to this being a sixty-point game? I blame Reggie Wayne.
03:18 - "it's ten-ten in our ballgame". That's two, also apparently it's not Shaun Gayle talking. I'm surprised to say I can't remember the main guy's name. Addai gets another reception to keep him a better receiver than Wayne (he's now got 98 all-purpose yards), who almost screwed up the play thanks to an alleged illegal block in the back of Jason David. I still blame Reggie Wayne.
03:23 - Manning giveth and Manning taketh away - first he hits Harrison for a big gain and they get so close to a touchdown before Harper intervenes, then he hits the wall separating the turf from the fans on first-and-goal. But fuck that, Joseph Addai up the middle, touchdown Colts and it's about time. It's only two yards, but he's sitting pretty on 15 points so far, and Adam kicks the extra point as well. Saints 10 - 17 Colts.
03:25 - "SEVENTEEN-TEN BALLGAME". That's three.
03:30 - I've just checked in with Team E.B.E. and the score is somehow sitting on 19-13. Addai has 15 points for them as well as the Inquisition, Mare has 4 for them and Marvin Harrison has 13 for "itsSEXtastic". And again, it's a seventeen-ten ballgame (#4).
03:35 - I don't believe it. Not only is Addai a better receiver than Wayne, Ben Fucking Utecht has just outnumbered him as well.
03:36 - Boom. Addai hits the century mark.
03:37 - Thank Christ. Reggie Wayne finally justifies himself by catching a second Manning 27-yard pass; he gets out of negative figures, and the score becomes Saints 10 - 24 Colts. It's not quite a sixty-point game, but the tempo's moving up.
03:41 - Did I hear that right? Brees is 11 for 18 for 47 YARDS? That's fucking crazy.
03:47 - It's seriously showing that it's the first game of the season, there's now been four false start penalties, two on each team, but fuck that Freddy Keiaho just picked off Brees and the Saints are in trouble. I've got to say, the interception was picture-perfect and Brees looks pissed on the sideliness.
03:49 - Wayne gets himself another reception, he's now on 69 yards for the game and it puts the Colts in the red zone again.
03:50 - "Twenty-four-ten ballgame", number five since I started counting. And damn, Brees is on a passer rating of 51. I'm really surprised, I figured he'd feast on the defense.
03:53 - Yet another penalty taken, Al Michaels guesses wrongly it was for Will Smith's facemask on Manning because Ugoh gets another penalty. It doesn't matter here, though, as Manning's pass was over the head of Wayne, and Vinatieri bats the field goal in without a problem. Saints 10 - 27 Colts.
03:58 - So close. Brees almost gets sacked yet again, escapes, scrambles away but only makes to fourth-and-one, but even though they're seventeen points down, the Saints still punt. Also "Twenty-seven-ten ballgame" (#6). Because I can, a quote from Nick Holling - "The Colts don't beat you with tricks, they beat you with execution."
04:01 - Seems like Reggie's been a disappointment so far today; he's only managed 29 yards in total. The other Reggie, on the other hand, picks up his third reception for a handful more yards and he's now got 11 points.
04:03 - Forget that 11 number, the one you want to concentrate on is #87. Wayne delivers with a 45-yard catch for a touchdown, taking him to 115 yards in the game, Vinatieri provides the extra point. This does mean Manning's now on 29 points, but Deuce McAllister's been bottled up nicely enough, so azbound hasn't had everything go his way. Saints 10 - 34 Colts.
04:06 - "Thirty-four-ten ballgame" (#7), and I can now PREDICT when he's going to say it.
04:09 - Kickass, I get to see the Ravens/Bengals game. Also, it looks like it's not just Bush underperforming, it's the whole Saints offense - they go from being the top unit in the league to being shut down here. The Colts have 238 in the second half, the Saints 98.
04:12 - Oh dear. Robert Mathis picks up a fumble, gives the Colts the ball back and it's still a "thirty-four-ten ballgame"(#8). It's been challenged by Payton, but it's fairly clear - the ball actually gets knocked out of Brees' hand as his arm was back to throw and he makes the throwing motion before realising what the fuck just happened.
04:17 - Kenton Keith just had a damn good run to get another first, and I'm forced to ask did Indianapolis somehow unearth another Addai in him? If so, oh shit, we're all going to die. It looks like Keith might be getting the remainder of the carries from here on out as well.
04:24 - You know, this is actually pretty fucking fun. Nobody's reading, but fuck that noise. Despite what the label may say, I don't blame Reggie Wayne anymore, he came through but good in the end.
04:29 - Drew Brees, that was shameful. He throws a pass that's picked off so fucking easily he HAD to be throwing it straight to Matt Giodarno, and the safety takes it with glee back for a touchdown. Vinatieri, obviously, kicks the extra point to make it Saints 10 - 41 Colts. It's still not a sixty-point game, but after that start, 51 points is good enough for me.
04:33 - Take a bow for shame. If he finishes it like this, Brees will set a new record for lowest yards per completion number in HISTORY with just 6.2 ypc. Or maybe not, he completes to Henderson and barring a couple of horrible backward passes, he's ranked higher than Chris Weinke's record.
04:35 - That's it, it's over. Colts win 41-10 and I'm fucking tired.
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The scores as they stand:
Spanish Inquisition 43 - 0 Excalibur [Addai finished the night with 19 points in all, Wayne with 21 and Bush with only 3. At the moment, six SI players are left to play in contrast to the full nine of Excalibur.]
Second Letter Saints 11 - 32 azbound07 [Adam Vinatieri had two field goals and five extra points for 11 points in all. On the other side, Manning had three touchdowns through the air for six points apiece and added another 11 by notching 288 passing yards for 29 in all, but McAllister also managed just three points himself. The Saints have eight players left to play, azbound has seven]
Swiss Army Soldiers 21 - 0 Zoolanders [These points are all the property of Wayne. The SAS have eight players left to play, Zoolanders have nine.]
Team E.B.E 23 - 14 itsSEXtastic [Addai had the 19 points, although was projected as having 21 by the Yahoo people, Harrison had 83 yards and a touchdown for his 14 points and Olindo Mare added a field goal and an extra point for us. EBE have seven players left to play, SEX have eight.]
London Knights 0 - 11 Filthy Flojams [11 points for Vinatieri here. The Flojams have seven players left to play, the Knights eight.]
Christ Punchers 0 - 0 bonecrushaz [Bob Sanders had five points for five tackles, but was benched in favour of Brian Dawkins; Robert Meacham was not benched, but didn't feature at all. CP has 13 players left to play, bonecrushaz has 14.]
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