18:00 - Dear fingers, I apologise in advance for wearing you down to the bone, but three games in a row with alternates = a lot of work for you. The over-under on Kevin Cadle's "ball game" quotes is standing at fourteen for the Pats/Jets game alone, and thanks to the marvel that is Sky Digital, I'll be switching between the two games whenever I feel like it; that said, the Pats/Jets involves me a hell of a lot more than Miami/Washington because, with the trading of Ronnie Brown, I don't care about the Dolphins anymore. Surprisingly, someone gave me Maurice Jones-Drew straight up for the guy, in a keeper league. Hell yes.
Right now, the following players are fantasy targets for me. Tom Brady is the most obvious one, he's playing on two of my teams, but I benched Laveranues Coles in favour of Santonio Holmes just before the game, a decision I'm now regretting because I'm just hearing that Asante Samuel is now not playing. I have Ben Watson with the Spanish Inquisition, the Patriots tight end, Stephen Gostkowski is a Saint and Adalius Thomas is a Christ Puncher. And don't worry, I'll only be doing the length of this and maybe Miami/Washington as well.
18:07 - Thanks Addy, he gets a pass deflection credit and it helps because Jerricho Cotchery misses the first down by only a yard on the third-and-long.
18:08 - Hah. Starting the Broncos looks like a good call, they've apparently already sacked J.P. Losman once.
18:11 - Uh-oh. Ben Roethlisberger I chose to bench for the Knights, and I say uh-oh because he's just hit Hines Ward for an early touchdown. Here's hoping Jay Cutler delivers.
18:13 - Brady to Welker almost picks up a first, and how many times is that going to happen this year? Meanwhile, Travis Henry has himself thirty yards rushing already, and Carolina are up 7-0 on St. Louis; bring on Bulger.
18:16 - Randy Moss gets his first reception and it's a beauty - he does a neat move to shake his coverage before the ball's even thrown and also gets a handful of yards after the catch. It takes the Pats into the red zone.
18:17 - The Steelers' defense makes a pick off Charlie Frye, and apparently both Buffalo and Green Bay have scored, against Denver and Philadelphia respectively. And I have both of those defenses starting. Ah.
18:20 - Three times right now, of Brady's four completions three have been to Wes Welker including that one for a touchdown. Pats 7 - 0 Jets, off a 91-yard drive in total. Also, I like point-per-receptions, because it means Sidney Rice might get some points; the Vikes are 7-0 up against Atlanta.
18:23 - Turns out it wasn't Buffalo's offense that provided the touchdown, it was Roscoe Parrish returning a punt for a touchdown. Ditto Green Bay, that was White returning a recovered fumble into the endzone. Speaking of fumbles, the Jets almost screwed themselves over by fumbling, but recovered it successfully.
18:26 - Nick Barnett earns me some points, he makes an interception off Donovan McNabb and I'm hoping that does indeed count for a linebacker.
18:27 - Bulger to Holt for a touchdown pass, is there anything sweeter? The Rams tie the game up 7-7 against the Patriots, and those are some much-appreciated points.
18:30 - THE CLEATED CRUSHER scored himself a field goal against Philadlphia, apparently he's not completely useless as the Packers go 10-0 up. Here, Stallworth sees his first throw, gets it and gets out of bounds.
18:33 - I benched Jon Kitna for Matt Schaub, thinking that Kitna would get eaten alive by Nnamdi Asomugha and company, but Schaub just got intercepted by someone on the Chiefs defense.
18:36 - The first BALL GAME of the night is overshadowed by the fact that the benched Chester Taylor has more points than both Jones-Drew and Willie Parker right now. Pennington just got crushed on third down, and I think Mike Vrabel gets the credit for it. I'm a little concerned now about Reggie Brown, he hasn't even got a single catch in this first quarter.
18:39 - Jacksonville are up 7-3 against Tennessee, courtesy of David Garrard hooking up with Groussard, it's also still a seven-nothing BALL GAME here as the first quarter ends Patriots 7 - 0 Jets.
18:41 - We're back in the second quarter, it's still a seven-nothing BALL GAME. Hoo bloody ray.
18:44 - Great. Roethlisberger has his second touchdown pass of the night, to Santonio Holmes and Pittsburgh is up 17-0. Still, every cloud has it's silver lining and Brett Favre gets picked off by the Eagles' Sheldon Brown. And goddamn, the Steelers defense recovers a fumble as well.
18:49 - Cassel goes all Romo on me as he flubs the field goal snap, meaning Gostkowski gets no chance to work hismagic and it remains 7-0 to the Pats.
18:52 - Chad Pennington hits Coles right between the numbers for an 18-yard gain, and I'm most interested in Coles' performance because of him and Santonio Holmes; he's thankfully losing at the moment, but gets another first down when he's left open. Buffalo's defense is sadly being stout and restricting both Jay Cutler and Travis Henry, and it seems playing Roethlisberger would have been a better idea now.
18:54 - Damn, that was impressive; Pennington, just after being sacked once, gets chased down by the Pats' line but hucks it to Leon Washington on an emergency screen and the running back almost gets the first - it was second-and-17, for comparison. Elsewhere, David Akers made his field goal but it got nullified by an offensive holding penalty; never to be deterred, he made it again on the second attempt and put the Eagles on the scoreboard.
18:58 - Aw, shit, Coles might not have taken the lead but he did outwit Rosevelt Colvin and he got into the end-zone successfully, turning this into a 7-7 BALL GAME. What I want to know is where the fuck Jones-Drew has been so far, he's had one attempt and lost yards in it.
19:02 - MATT SCHAUB~ delivers for the Texans and me alike, he and Andre Johnson team up for a 77-yard touchdown that I LOVE the sound of. I told someone who backed Kansas City over them that he'd made amistake, and they're proving me right but good.
19:04 - Brady sees he's getting no love from the coverage, rushes forward for four yards and a first, something I am more than pleased about. Incidentally, Schaub's sitting on 152 yards through the air so far for 10 points, and Brady now unleashes a beautiful pass to Randy Moss for a clutch of yards.
19:08 - In case you didn't already know, it's still a 7-7 BALL GAME, and we're being treated to an over-long shot of Mangini and Belichick just standing there. In near-silence from the commentators. And speaking of completions, Moss now has 87 yards off four receptions including the one he just made. I don't know about you, but this would be a fucking nice time for Ben Watson to pop up and make a goal-line touchdown catch.
19:10 - The Jets call a time-out after two unsuccessful Lawrence Maroney runs up the middle, and I don't why they're tarting about with this shit.
19:13 - They come back from the time-out and Tom Brady loves me; they stop tarting about with that shit and he wings it to Ben Watson. Five yards, touchdown otherfuckers. Interestingly, it's still in the first half and Pittsburgh have an interception, two fumble recoveries and FIVE sacks on the Browns.
19:15 - I think I just vomited in my mouth a little at the prospect, no matter how stupid, of the Buffalo Bills being moved to London and becoming the London Bills. Apparently Watson's catch is under review, so it's either a 7-7 or a 14-7 BALL GAME.
19:16 - IT'S A TOUCHDOWN. Patriots 14 - 7 Jets.
19:17 - David Akers makes the extra point to tie up Philadelphia and Green Bay, thanks to Donovan McNabb and Jason Avant geting the touchdown. Pennington gets sacked, but there's a penalty called on the Jets, offensive holding, that's declined. Guess it counted.
19:20 - Damon Huard, welcome to your life. He just got intercepted by Dunta Robinson, and who expected the Texans to have such a stout defense?
19:21 - The Sky coverage switches straight to the Skins/Phins game (it's still a14-7 BALL GAME at the Meadowlands) in time for Trent Green to hit someone with a touchdown pass as the clock expires and give Miami the lead going into the locker room. I could TRY to care less, but I don't think I'll have much luck.
19:23 - Halftime at Buffalo, who're still up 7-6; Travis Henry has 65 yards on ten attempts, but Lynch isn't having any luck with only 29 yards against the Broncos' front seven. St. Louis must have kicked a field goal right at the death, because they're beating the Panthers 10-7, Miami are up 7-3 like I said and Houston are still 10-0 up. Atlanta are losing 7-0 to Minnesota, although quite how is amazing considering Tarvaris Jackson has just 40 yards, and Jacksonville are winning 10-6 over Tennessee.
19:27 - Pittsburgh are obviously still playing because they extended their lead over Cleveland to 17-0 with a field goal from Jeff Reed.
19:28 - Why the fuck has Reggie Brown still not managed a single catch? Is he even playing?
19:30 - Fucking hell. Charlie Frye's left the Cleveland/Pittsburgh game, and I know this because Derek Anderson just got sacked, fumbled the ball and lost it. For those keeping score at home, that's an interception, three fumble recoveries and six sacks. :D
19:33 - It was Justin Peel who got the Miami touchdown, but it wasn't in this BALL GAME. The Jets' 100 total yards against 244 for New England does not spell good news.
19:35 - Huh. 108-yard kickoff return for Ellis Hobbs, but we missed the first seconds because of a technical arsing up. Turns out it was a history-maker - 108 yards is apparently the longest return ever, and I'm looking at the replay in awe because Hobbs was spectacular on that. Patriots 21 - 7 Jets. The previous record was 106 yards, held by three people and last seen in 1979 for Roy Green of the St. Louis Cardinals. The More You Know!
19:39 - Thomas Jones has had 7 rushing attempts and 5 yards. This does not bode well for the Jets, does it?
19:40 - HOLY SHIT, Mario Williams has apparently done something kickass. He didn't force the fumble on Webb, but he did recover it and make the 42-yard fumble return touchdown. He's also benched. Goddammit. The Texans are now 17-0 up. Also, Washington are in the lead thanks to Clinton Portis' 15-yard run, it's 10-7 there.
19:44 - lol tony pashos. I don't know how he's performed in the game, but he's called for a holding penalty for the Jaguars and so I can laugh at him. And Jesus, Pennington has really been taking a beating - he's now gone off after another sack. Kellen Clemens is in and oh dear, that looked fucking nasty for Pennington. Clemens makes his first pass, but it's nowhere near long enough for the first down.
19:46 - I'm not certain when this happened, but St. Louis are now up 13-7 after a second field goal.
19:48 - Yay Mario Williams with a sack. Again, welcome to your new life with no pass protection Damon Huard. Jay Cutler apparently has very little statwise - ~130 yards and an interception - but Ben Roethlisberger only has 65 yards somehow; how he can have that few yards and still have two touchdowns passesis beyond me.
19:51 - Randy Moss has himself his first touchdown as a Patriot, that's a 51-yarder and it puts Brady level with Peyton Manning touchdown-wise. If he carries on at this pace, he'll outscore Manning; he had 29 points in the win over New Orleans, while Brady has 27 points so far. Patriots 28 - 7 Jets.
19:54 - A couple of field goals submittd for your review. Longwell makes one for the Vikings (10-0 over Atlanta), Elam misses a fifty-yarder for Denver (still down 7-6) and Jake Delhomme has his second touchdown, to Steve Smith for 68 yards.
19:58 - Schaub makes another pass to Johnson, but Andre fumbles it and it's lost. Not good, but if it's only a loss of two points I can take that. I'm also fairly certain Reggie Brown is indeed not playing.
20:01 - Vince Young scrambles like he's wont to do against the Jags for two yards and makes the touchdown, makes it 13-10 Titans. The Jets are in a great position, but I'm thankful Coles couldn't make the touchdown catch...unfortunately, he caught the second. Patriots 28 - 14 Jets. Santonio Holmes is still a better choice than he is, but he's now only 0.3 points ahead. Torry Holt, for comparison, is only 0.5 points ahead of Coles, with 11.8 points in total.
20:04 - Marshawn Lynch has been producing decently so far today, and caps it off with a 23-yard touchdown run; he's now on 77 yards rushing, not a bad total against such a solid unit. Denver are now down 14-6, and I can assure you I didn't see that coming.
20:07 - Steven Jackson, #2 pick; he's lost two fumbles and only managed 54 yards. Yay. And Roethlisberger is now so much better than Jay Cutler with his third touchdown pass - Cutler's yet to make one and has been picked twice.
20:10 - The Eagles are up now, 13-10 over Green Bay, and somehow Randy Moss has about 150 yards. It might be a flash in the pan, but fucking hell it's a bright flash. At the end of the third quarter, it's Patriots 28 - 14 Jets.
20:12 - 28-14 BALL GAME! Houston's shutout bid has died, sadly, but they're still up 17-3; likewise, Atlanta have finally scored, they're down 10-3 against Minnesota.
20:14 - And speaking of shutouts dying, Pittsburgh have finally been scored on by the Browns. Derek Anderson made a single-yard pass to Vickers, but it's not quite a "fourteen-point BALL GAME", just 24-7 Pittsburgh
20:16 - Aw, just great. Now Jones-Drew has fumbled as well; he only has sixty yards in total, both receiving and rushing, and loses more points through that. This is still a BALL GAME, FYI.
20:20 - CBS is airing something for Survivor: China, and I can safely say I don't care even a little. Maroney's been bottled up surprisingly well by the Jets, partly because he's sharing carries with Sammy Morris but not completely. Any chance the Falcons might have had of coming back is good and dead, by the way, as Tarvaris Jackson and Adrian Peterson combined for a sixty-yard touchdown. THE CLEATED CRUSHER kicks another field goal for Green Bay, who're now tied 13-13, Carolina are in the lead 17-13 after a field goal there and the Broncos are back in it - Jay Cutler made a pass to Brandon Marshall, but the two-point conversion attempt was thwarted, they're now down 14-12.
20:24 - The Pats are on first-and-goal, Sammy Morris got nothing. This seems very familiar, come on Ben Watson.
20:26 - No luck. Gostkowski gets his first field goal, making it Patriots 31 - 14 Jets, but Tom Brady is still stuck on 28 points - now just one behind Peyton Manning.
20:28 - So Coles has two touchdowns. This makes him the best wide receiver I could have played, better than Holt and better than Holmes. Fuck. At this point, I'm really glad Jones-Drew and Kellen Winslow got points for catches, because it's not looking good.
20:30 - Roethlisberger to Heath Miller, 22 yards, touchdown. Kill me, kill me now.
20:35 - Antoine Winfield just pours on the pain for Atlanta, intercepting Harrington's pass and taking it back to the (Appalachian State's) Big House for the score. They're now winning 24-3.
20:38 - Where the fuck is Reggie Brown? Also, where the fuck is Randy McMichael? And now the Patriots are just piling it on, they're on the one-yard line and it looked like it was a touchdown on the previous rush anyway. Also, poor Kansas City - Travis Johnson now has an interception of Huard.
20:41 - Ah, it seems Reggie Brown is apparently alive. Donovan McNabb missed a pass to him.
20:43 - Speak of the devil, Evans jumps over the fucking huge pile to become the fifth player to have a touchdown for New England and make it Patriots 38 - 14 Jets. There's two minutes to go, and the Jets would be best served just letting the clock run out.
20:48 - Who'd have thought that of all today's games, Miami and Washington would deliver the tensest one? Jay Feely's just made a field goal to tie it again at 13-13, and I'm not exactly sure if it's the result of great defensive play or shit offensive play. Who cares, really?
20:50 - And that's it. New England win 38 - 14 over the New York Jets, and the coverage has switched to Washington/Miami. The Skins have the ball with 1:24 left to go and the score at 13-13, but things aren't helped by Joey Porter blasting Ladell Betts in the backfield for a short loss. The target is supposed to be the 33-yard line for Shaun Suisham, the Skins kicker, but he's made longer in the past.
20:52 - And the Skins are in trouble now. Jason Campbell's pass to Antwaan Randle Al was good, and Randle El almost made the catch on the third down, but now the Dolphins get their chance with a minute to go.
20:53 - Final scores so far: Minnesota 24 - 3 Atlanta
Houston 20 - 3 Kansas City
Tennessee 13 - 10 Jacksonville
20:54 - Trent Gren overthrows Justin Peel, who he got a touchdown to previously, but it looks like the Dolphins are happy to go to overtime now. They DO have three timeouts left, though. But FUCKING HELL, Fred Smoot just leapt in front of the pass and came so, so, SO close to an interception.
20:58 - My God, that's a Hail Mary and then some. Jason Campbell made a great long pass that was batted down in the end-zone, but it was batted INTO Randle El's arms. Randle El's facing up against four or five Dolphins and tries to do something to get in, but he gets shoved out of bounds just before the line. If they'd made it, that would have been an ending for the ages, but he didn't and so it goes into overtime with the score 13-13.
21:05 - Really not the time for injuries, Javon Walker's just gone off against Buffalo. Not having his best receiver when he's trying to get in field goal range is really going to hurt the guy.
21:07 - Final score from the Edward Jones Dome - Carolina 27 - 13 St. Louis. It turns out Walker isn't badly hurt, he's well enough to continue playing, at least.
21:09 - Nice of him; Ladell Betts, in the middle of a power run, crashes into his OWN left tackle and carries on going.
21:10 - On the Buffalo 24-yard line, Jason Elam makes the kick when it counts. Denver 15 - 14 Buffalo is the final score, but damn this is hardly a convincing win for the Broncos.
21:12 - The Skins call their last remaining timeout, but after some good runs from Betts and Portis, it looks like they're going to kick from thre. It's strange, because they've still got time AND they're still not that close. The field goal will be 40-yards in length.
21:14 - It's GOOD. Washington win, 16-13 over the Dolphins, and that's it from me because I need to pee. I'll be watching Chicago/San Diego very closely.
The scores on the revolving doors:
Spanish Inquisition 86 - 23 EXCALIBUR
Second Letter Saints 97 - 80 azbound07
Christ Punchers 77.3 - 73.54 bonecrushaz
London Knights 85.3 - 37.2 Filthy Flojams
Swiss Army Soldiers 61 - 20 Zoolanders
Team E.B.E. 81 - 47 itsSEXtastic
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