Barely two hours after putting Matt Leinart on the block and asking for wide receivers or running backs in return does somebody come back to me with a trade, and it’s one I have to think about. Admittedly, I’m not thinking about accepting it, I’m thinking about whether Rex Grossman would have turkey or turkey and bacon in his sandwich because the Sex Cannon is involved in the discussions. It breaks down as follows:
To the Saints: Muhsin Muhammad, WR, Chicago Bears
Fred Taylor, RB, Jacksonville Jaguars
Sexy Rexy, QB, Chicago Bears
To the Ky Cool Cats: Fitty, WR, Arizona Cardinals
Willis McGahee, RB, Baltimore Ravens (FUCK YEAH)
Matt Leinart, QB, Arizona Cardinals
Even at first glance, you can tell this trade borders on the clinically insane. Even if I broke it down into three trades – Fitty for Moose, Taylor for Willis and so on – the only one I’d even consider is Willis for Taylor. Moose is a #2 receiver in Chicago with a questionable ball-thrower while Rex IS that questionable ball-thrower, and the Jags have three running backs who want carries; in contrast, Fitty is sex, Leinart should really be my starter and Willis was my second pick. When I actually put Leinart on the block, I was looking for a good Fantasy receiver, someone like Deion Branch, who’d be a #2 option on most other teams. Instead, I got this. I think my reply – quote unquote “Are you fucking kidding me? No, absolutely not, not in a thousand years.” - hit the right note; condescending with a hint of arrogance.
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