Second Letter Saints 105 - 121 Indy Shredders - The first of presumably many division games in the Happy Drunks leagues ends with an unpleasant loss thanks to Marshawn Lynch getting snuffed out by Pittsburgh, San Diego's defence being shat on by Tom Brady, LaMont Jordan having ANOTHER fucking great game and Larry Fitzgerald being touchdown-less. Even Brady himself can't carry a team. I keep spelling Jordan's first name as "LaMonth". It must be a sign.
The Spanish Inquisition 80 - 114 Mapleton Dragons - Urgh. None of my three receivers broke a hundred yards or had a touchdown, and the Eagles got smacked down by Washington. I think that's all I need to say on that front.
Swiss Army Soldiers 109 - 112 Mike ConVick - So it's down to the last game of week 2, Washington and Philadelphia. The score sits at 107-112, with the last player on the board being Reggie Brown. If he has sixty yards receiving or a touchdown of any length, I'll win. The Redskins have a fairly weak set of corners, so I figure this should be a chipshot. He has 27 yards and loses me the game. If I'd started Brandon Jones in his place, the score would be 112-112.
London Knights 89.49 - 103.3 Earl Campbell EXPRESS - Maurice Jones-Drew continues to disappoint everyone up to and including Al Gore, mainly because LaMonth scored triple his points this week (15.9 compared to 5.1 for Nancy). Santonio Holmes didn't do me any favours either. Or Nate Kaeding. But mostly, the thing that killed me was Antonio Gates, Jerricho Cotchery, Marc Bulger, Marques Colston...basically everyone not on my team.
Christ Punchers 145.02 - 159.22 SJSM - In my defence, when I drafted most of these players I knew this team was going to be horrible this year. I'm keeping Tom Brady and Calvin Johnson at least, and almost certainly Steven Jackson as well (it depends where I finish. If I have the first overall pick come next year's draft, I may not keep him and see who else is left).
Team E.B.E. 118 - 107 Total Badasses - The Entities are the only team of mine to stay 2-0, and for that I have the Johnsons to thank. Cleveland's near-retarded defence gave up 32 points to Ocho Cinco, and Carolina's somehow dropped their guard long enough for Andre to pick up 24 himself - that's 56 points between two receivers, for those of you counting at home, and if you are your loneli-wait, I think I've heard this before. Of course, Nancy worked his/her magic here, doing his/her damndest to make us lose, but the Johnsons and Donald Driver toiled like pack horses to expunge such sissiness from the Entities. Then I find out Andre will probably be out next week, which is the biggest load of cunt ever.
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